Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I’ve Finally Come Around To Your Way Of Thinking

OK. I surrender. The proponents of Obama Care’s arguments may or may not convince 5 Supreme Court Justices. But after giving the idea some serious thought, (augmented by a short glass or two), they just might have persuaded me to come around to their way of thinking.

I’m a long-time supporter of capitalism. Forcing all of us to buy health insurance can only be a good thing for our giant insurance industry. The immediate spin-off will be increased business for the drug industry, doctors, clinics, hospitals. Their suppliers and sub-contractors will also receive a boost. Peachy keen, long live capitalism!

Now realize I’m a cancer patient on Social Security Disability. Not working. In a word, I’m poor. And I’m on Medicaid, so I don’t have to pay for the health insurance. I’m golden. I’m getting misty-eyed thinking about the logical progression. They are even talking about subsidized birth control now. (I don’t need that, at 56 years old I’m past menopause.)

Let’s not heap all this good fortune on just the health care industry while ignoring other, equally important, American industries and all the jobs they support. The following is just a short list of the goods and services Americans must be mandated to purchase. (Or in the case of us destitute citizens, subsidized by those who can more easily afford it.)

10:Atlas Shrugged (Hard cover goat skin leather-bound, of course, signed fly-leaf optional)
9: Robert Earl Keen CDs
8: WWE and UFC pay-per-view (Or NASCAR online)
7: Marlboro Lights and Pabst Blue Ribbon (Optionally, really good Scotch or Bourbon)
6: Purebred Walker coon dogs
5: Chik Fil A #1 meals with Sweet Tea (Especially for us poor folks. Micky D’s gets old fast)
4: Brooks Brothers Alex P. Keaton signature ties
3: Gillette Fusion blades
2: Mary Kay and Merle Norman cosmetics (We can’t forget our fairer sex)
And finally The number one mandated purchase/subsidy
1: NRA lifetime memberships for everyone!

Just think, if this program had been applied to the Chevy Volt GM would not have had to end production and we could all be driving coal-powered cars. I love this country!

(Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, a new Colt 1911 is way up there on my desirables list.)

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