Monday, August 25, 2008

What I Learned Watching The DNCC Opening Night

I've learned a lot!

Did you know that Amtrak will export machinist jobs out of the country if Obama is not elected? I didn't, until some "real person" from Indiana told us tonight.

I've learned that one of the most distinguished, honorable, truthful, and yes, even the most ardent supporter of family values in the Senate is Ted Kennedy.

I've learned that if you're a politician, and you lie about an extramarital affair, the DNC will distance itself from you. You obviously do not hold strong to their values.

Unless your name is Clinton.

Or Kennedy.

Or maybe it's just if your name is Edwards.

Or perhaps if your indiscretion came to light just a few weeks before the convention.

I've learned that even a state house minority leader can get bumped as a delegate, if the proper "boy, girl, boy, girl" ratio is somehow not met. What would have happened if Ward was married to a black guy? Would he have not even been allowed as a guest?

That Barry will close the book on old time politics as usual. Does Joe know about this?

I learned that John Kennedy did not say, "The moon is too far away, why even try?" I learned that his baby brother does say, "Drilling for oil will take too long, why even try?"

In less than an hour I've learned all these things. I should be a freakin' genius by the time they leave Denver.

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