Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Calorie Offset Credits

I experienced a small epiphany during lunch.

I have lunch quite often at Honduras Coffee in Stuart. It's a little surprising to find such a "trendy" place in small town Stuart, but they have great coffee, (go buy some now, I'll wait 'till you get back). They also offer the best chicken salad in SWVA, and my favorite sandwich, the Total Tuna meltdown.

As its name implies the Total Tuna Meltdown is more than a tuna melt. It's much more. Of course it starts with freshly made tuna salad, but it continues with a delicious combination of hard cheeses and a piquant pesto like sauce. All that on a buttered artisan bread of some sort that is slightly sweet, yet nicely crunchy from the grilling that subtly blends the flavors of the melted cheeses and now slightly warm pesto.

Calories? Who knows? Who cares? I sure don't. Suffice it to say the description alone could easily make Jenny Craig's head spin right off her shoulders. Even so, it takes at least one serving a week to keep me happy.

Oh, I almost forgot. My epiphany? While there I noticed another diner order the Total Tuna Meltdown. That in itself is not unusual. But this customer ordered it with a Diet Coke. Let that sink in. That hedonistic sandwich topped off with a Diet Coke. And a small garden salad with no dressing.

It occurred to me that the meal my fellow diner had just ordered was the perfect analogy to Al Gore's personal energy management. Engorge yourself, load up on carbohydrates and fat and kilowatts and BTUs and all the other goodies you want, then offset that with a plain salad and a Diet Coke.

One neutralizes the other. Right? Right? No? I didn't think so either. The salad and Diet Coke and Carbon Offsets are there only as a nice soothing ointment on your self-inflicted wounds. They don't actually heal anything, but they make you feel better about yourself.

And me? Why I had a beer, of course. A nice, dark, carbohydrate filled, full bodied beer. Hey, I've never been accused of being politically correct, not even in my diet.

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